Inner child / little kid dialogue

It is very important to have a clear, open, and trusting relationship with the little kid/inner child part of us. This is the part of us that is connected most with our feeling nature. Our feeling nature is our core. "We all are feeling our way through our feeling experiences" as one of my mentors would always say. We can not know many times what to do, or what is going to happen until we experience the situation and commit the experience to our history of memory. So, we can not pre-structure what we would do or feel. However, we can be clear enough to respond in the present moment and not react because of past experience. This takes getting to know ourselves from the inside out. Knowing where and how we are vulnerable and loving and accepting that part of us is key. We all need to respect and take care of the part of us that is vulnerable, not just the part that we feel is a hero or has "it" all together.

We have many parts inside. These parts need and want different things. It is up to us as healthy individuals to manage these parts and their needs. They are our needs, whether we are consciously aware or not. These needs will try to get expression. These parts or aspects can also be called sub personalities; and they make up the totality of our personality. Totality meaning whole, the whole part and this implies wholeness. There are basic sub personalities and parts, and then there are parts that are as individual as the person. Just think of these parts or aspects of self as different ways of expressing who you are. When you have healthy full self expression things run smoothly. Think of a source of water that becomes clogged or dammed up. You may not notice the clog for awhile, but at some point the dam will break; or the clog will cause an over flow in another area.

This process is to connect with that part of you that perhaps is not heard that often. Again, it is easier for all of us to focus on the part of us that "seems" to be successful or that can plow through any challenge. However, there is a part of everyone that just wants to take a rest, play without an agenda, or just be nurtured and taken care of. This part knows no gender. It is the male and female of us. Unfortunately, this part of all of us has been disowned and left out. This part of us is down played and in fact ignored in our main stream society. This part is rarely, if ever, advertised to. This is the part many of us want to forget about. This is the part that connects us to our feeling nature, to our dreams to our humanity. This is the part that shows us our humanity and how we are all connected. This part when listened to, heard, acknowledged, accepted and loved opens us to compassion in a way that allows us to achieve much more than we once dreamed. However, though this is the part is such a small part it holds our key in ways one could only imagine…

To begin this process go to a place or create a space that feels safe to you; preferably a place where you won’t be disturbed mid process. Think about your present circumstances. There could be and issue or concern you have. Or, you could just be curious. Whatever the reason you have for connecting with this part of you is perfect, is the right reason for you.

Write in your journal or on a piece of paper:

1. Hello. May I talk with you?

2. I am here to get to know you.

3. I would like to know more about you.

4. I am now here for you; whether I was a lot or a little in
the past I am more and more fully here for you.

5. What do you need from me at this time?

6. How can we be closer?

7. How can I listen to you better?

When asking this questions internally in your own mind an d in your own time you may or may not get full answers. Sometimes you won’t receive anything verbal. Perhaps, just a feeling. Stick with the process consistently. This is like any good relationship/friendship it takes time to trust. There may be some trust issues with you and your little kid/inner child part of you. So, take the time. You are worth it.

Now, you want to get into a comfortable relaxed position.
Close your eyes. Begin focusing on your breath with your eyes closed focused on your heart-lung area. Allow your breath to slow down. Focus on you and how you are feeling. You can breath in for a count of 3. Hold for a count of 3. Breathe out for a count of 3. Do this a few times until you feel more relaxed and focused on your inner state.

Now ask these questions of yourself. After asking the question focus within and without censoring note your answers either mentally or by writing in your journal. (I suggest writing them down) Do this with each question and take as long as you like. You will know when you are finished by a feeling of neutrality and completion. You will feel a little or a lot more settled.
Feel free to ask as many questions as you like and to respond. This is your relationship with this inner aspect of you. Be respectful and compassionate with the information you receive. You are building trust and learning about a deeper part of you. This all takes time.

The more you invest, the better the quality of the relationship and your understanding.

Love and accept yourself. This inner part has so much to share with you.

Next Level Process. After you have developed more rapport, feel more trusting you can begin to have a real partnership with this aspect of self.

Ask:

1. What did you need when you were a child that you did not get?

2. How can you now get that?

3. How can I (the healthy adult self ) provide this?

4. What are you fearing now? (anxiety-afraid of…)

5. Tell your little kid/inner child that you are here now- listening, hearing, acknowledging, and that you understand so much more now about her/him.

6. Tell her/him that she/he deserves:

Unconditional Love

Safety in her/his environment

Right to be

Right to feel and express feelings. That all her/his feelings are ok. That she/he needs to feel ok acknowledging them. That feelings are different than actions.

That one may feel feelings and acknowledge them; yet respond or behave differently. That it is important to acknowledge and express feellings to
adult self.

That you are hear now and listening working/creating together with his/her needs in consideration.

You have the right to be listened to, heard, acknowledged, and understood. This understanding comes from someone understanding how you could feel how you feel, or that you feel a certain way even though they may not understand it for themselves or agree.

You have a right to full self expression, to create and express yoursself.
That others may not always agree with how you are feeling, or what you think, but you are entitled to have and express your feelings.

Create comfort and safety for your inner child/little kid.

Release fear and anxiety by listening, hearing, acknowledging, understanding and honoring this part of you. This is you. You have a responsibility to yourself to understand all parts of yourself- to understand how you feel, and perhaps why. You may not always agree with yourself, as others may not agree with you; yet you can understand and have respect/love.

 

Perception & Projection

Guideline For Taking Back Projections

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